BS: So hi, Tuc.
TW: Hi, Brian.
BS: How’s Los Angeles?
TW: Oh, pretty good. I’ve been sitting here hovering over my phone waiting for you to call me to interview me for Instinct magazine.
BS: So this is how you spend your day...
TW: Right. What do you want, Brian? (laughs)
BS: I wanted to talk about this new movie I hear you’re in called, "I Think I Do."
TW: From that brilliant director Brian Sloan?
BS: Yeah, that would be me. So you play a soap opera star, which is, you know, a stretch because aren’t you soap opera star in real life?
TW: I was huge in soaps.
BS: Were you?
TW: From approximately spring of ’94 to spring of ’97.
BS: And did you win any soap opera awards?
TW: As a matter of fact, I won the 1996 Outstanding Male Scene Stealer Award; they handed me a phallic-shaped Lucite piece of plastic and I use it as a doorstop in my laundry room.
BS: Wow. So what soaps were you on in your heyday?
TW: "One Life To Live," which I called, "One Line To Learn"—that’s not out of disrespect, however—and General Hospital, until they put a knife through my heart.
BS: Why did they do that?
TW: Because I was selling drugs and killing children.
BS: You’re so evil.
TW: Yeah.
BS: Well, in "I Think I Do" the character you play, Sterling Scott, is a lot nicer I think...
TW: Uhh...
BS: I mean, your characters’ role on the fictional soap is nicer. But he’s only seen in one scene and it’s in a hospital.
TW: Yeah, but I think in that scene my character’s in on a kidnapping, isn’the?
BS: No, I think somebody kidnapped his fiance or something.
TW: Yeah, but I think he thought the kidnapping was delicious.
BS: And his reaction to the whole thing is just to start making out with that girl.
TW: I learned from a producer at "One Life To Live" that whenever you’re in a scene with any woman, your motivation is: I want to have sex right now!(laughs) So I was just doing what the producers told me.
BS: I remember the day before we did that scene in the movie, I saw you on General Hospital and I asked if we could use that scene for the film.
TW: And I said, “No, that’s hitting too close to home.”
BS: But did you say like, the scene was so brilliantly written or something?
TW: (laughs) Most of the scenes are brilliantly written.
BS: It was funny seeing you on a real soap while we were shooting the movie, and I think you were playing a doctor in a hospital, too.
TW: Yeah, it was really sort of an out of body experience.
BS: It’s like life imitates art.
TW: You know what? I live in Los Angeles and that’s my call-waiting so you just have to hold on right now. I’ll call them back. Hold on. (DEAD AIR)
TW: Hey Brian, I’m back.
BS: We’re back, we’re live. OK, what else was I going to ask you? In terms of preparing for "I Think I Do," did you base the character on any soap opera star that you knew or were you creating your own, new character...
TW: I don’t really know. I showed up on the set, I asked where Kraft service was and when I could go home. (laughs) Well, I didn’t really do alot of research because I showed up for your audition for "I Think I Do" preparing to read another scene, and then you said, “No. Go read this character.” So I just picked up the other sides and read those and you,“OK, you can have that part.” So there wasn’t a lot of research, it was just off the cuff.
BS: You thought you were reading for another character when you came in? Really?
TW: Yeah, my agent said I was reading for Brendan. When I came in I said,“I’m here to read for Brendan.” And everybody in the room said, “No, you should be reading for Sterling.”
BS: Now I do remember that. You were still great.
TW: Well, thank you.
BS: Out of the people we saw—and we saw a lot of soap opera stars—I think I told you this before...
TW: Oh, did you?
BS: Yeah.
TW: I didn’t know you saw a bunch of soap people.
BS: We tried to find soap people, and uh...
TW: Did any of them have a sense of humor?
BS: No actually, you were the only one.
TW: (laughs) It’s true. I am the only one with a sense of humor.
BS: I’m not exaggerating, but there were a couple of people who came in, who would read the Sterling scene with such a kind of like, real-life drama. I just kept saying, “Well, it’s a comedy.” And they’d be like, “Oh. OK, let me try it again.” (laughs) You know the scene where you’re on the balcony talking about your age, when your age is sort of outed. This one guy was doing that scene like it was something from Shakespeare. What’s the line from in that scene?
TW: “I told you my real age.”
BS: Yeah, and this guy is doing this thing like, “I told you my real age!” As if it’s some classical drama. And I was like, you know, uhmmm...No.
TW: Well, I actually based Sterling Scott more on the women I worked with on the soaps than on any of the men. Because he does lean towards the dramatic like some of my female counterparts.
BS: In terms of their off-screen persona?
TW: At this point I should probably plead the fifth.
BS: Before they take back your soap opera award...Now at the L.A. screening last summer, did any other soap friends of yours see the film? Have you gotten any reaction from other soap opera people who’ve seen the film.
TW: As a matter of fact, no. The people I know who saw it were mostly friends here in L.A. and my dad came into town to see it, but no one else from my family and most of my friends back East haven’t seen it yet. Because the exclusive Outfest [the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Film Festival] screening was sold out and only the elite could get in. (pauses) You have to let everybody know that everything I’m saying is tongue in cheek, because when you read this stuff in print, I’ll come off like a real jerk.
BS: “This is tongue in cheek,” as he says tongue in cheek. You said your dad was there at the screening. What did he think of the movie and your role?
TW: He thought it was great. He’d never been to anything like that. He was, as always, just very proud of one of his kids. He also thought it was really funny. He told me he wasn’t really sure what to expect. And I think he was laughing more than anybody.
BS: My parents saw the movie two weeks ago. We had a sneak preview at the Washington, D.C. Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. After the movie, I said, “So what did you think?” And they’re like, “There seems to be a lot of drinking and smoking in it.”
TW: Your mother and I were in a scene together. Does she know that she was cut from the film?
BS: Yeah, yeah she does. She’s not happy about it.
TW: The pivotal snow-globe purchase scene.
BS: I remember when I was writing the script, I thought, This is so brilliant. It was like a visual moment and I’m always writing too much dialogue. So I thought this was really cool. But people weren’t really sure what it was. They were like, “What’s he shaking?”
TW: You can put it back in, in the director’s cut. Next time we have a bigger budget you can cut to the snow-globe and people will actually know what is being shaken. For now you did what you could with what you had. Have people not been patting you on the back enough?
BS: No. Well, you know, everybody loves the stars, and the director gets ignored. The stars get all the glory...I don’t mind though. For instance, at that L.A. screening, when I had to go on stage and speak in front of that audience of 1,500 people, I was like, shaking...
TW: Weren’t you stoned? You can’t let that out, but weren’t you stoned?
BS: No. That was one of the actors. Oh...maybe we shouldn’t say that.(laughing) No, I wasn’t stoned, but I was popping Pepto-Bismols like crazy. I really can’t stand to be in front of people like that. I just feel vulnerable or something. I think it’s because I don’t have anything scripted. I work better with a script.
TW: And I think I work better without one. One reason I liked working with you is you would let someone try something that wasn’t scripted and if you liked it you’d keep it and if you didn’t like it you’d cut it. But at least you gave us the opportunity and I think a lot of really nice moments came from us straying from the script from time to time.
BS: Yeah, like when you were standing in front of the bathroom mirror and you sucked in your gut...

TW: Right. You’re what we’d call an actor’s director.
BS: Well, you know I used to be an actor myself.
TW: You can say that when you’re pitching future ideas.
BS: Did I use that on you when you came in to audition?
TW: No, because I didn’t think you were aware of it yet. Where can we see some of your work as an actor?
BS: I’m actually in "I Think I Do" very briefly, in the opening credits, but I have no lines. I had a couple of lines in Pool Days.
TW: Which is where you used another "One Life To Live" alum, Josh Weinstein.
BS: That’s right! Wow, this is a theme. It’s a "One Life To Live" theme. Historians will look back and say, “In all of his films he had someone from One Life To Live. What does it all mean?”
TW: Well, you have a pretty respectable pool to choose from. Tommy Lee Jones was on that soap for four years.
BS: He was?
TW: Yeah, every now and then when I think that I’m not going to get any more work, I just think Tommy Lee Jones was on "One Life To Live" for four years.
BS: (laughs) Is that your little mantra?
TW: It’s my mantra when I’m going to auditions for like "Saved By The Bell" or "Baywatch."
BS: Wait. Have you really auditioned for "Saved By The Bell?"
TW: I was hired for "Saved By The Bell" years ago, then they fired me.
BS: What were you hired for?
TW: I was supposed to play this college guy who was coming onto one of the high school girls, and…they fired me. It was no big deal. The director called me at home and said, “We’ve decided to let you go.” I said, “Oh. Well, why is that?” He said, “Well, you’re lacking a quality we’re looking for.” I said, “Well, what quality is that?”
BS: (laughing) Yeah, what quality would that be?
TW: “Assertiveness.” So I said, “Well, how’s this for assertive: Why don’t you let me come back and play it that way tomorrow. You told me to play it boy-next-door-nice-guy, so it didn’t look like I was being a lech coming onto this young girl.” He said, “No, the producers made their decision…” I said, “Well, thanks for the pep talk and I’ll see you later.” It was the only time I’ve ever been fired from anything. And, I mean, I’ve had some shitty jobs in the past, like shoveling manure in a horse stable and cleaning the machines in a butcher shop.
BS: Well, I think it’s gotta be a badge of courage in a way. I was fired from Houlihan’s restaurant.
TW: You were? So was my sister. She was fired from a Houlihan’s Country Club Plaza in Kansas City because she waited on Gilbert Robinson, who owns all the Houlihan’s...
BS: Oh my God!
TW: ...and she forgot to turn his order in.
BS: (laughing) Unfortunate mistake.
TW: And she didn’t know what condiments you were supposed to put in each of the drinks so she would put a monkey and an orange and an olive and an onion in everything. They told her she might be happier as a model.
BS: (laughing) I was fired simply because I was slow. That’s all they said. I was so crushed. But I think of it as a badge of courage. In fact, I use it as an inspiration. I’m working on a musical based on me being fired from Houlihan’s.
TW: Your waiter’s badge of courage.
BS: That’s a good title.
TW: I got a feeling it won’t sell quite as well as Red Badge.
BS: The Waiter’s Badge of Courage. No, I really am working on a musical based on this experience.
TW: Wow. Well, you don’t want me to audition because I can’t sing.
BS: Yeah I think I asked you that.
TW: If I sang?
BS: If you’d ever done musicals. TW: I did one musical in high school and I had a solo in "Anything Goes." I was supposed to sing a solo, I can’t even remember what it was, but they added someone because I wasn’t good enough.
BS: God, that’s pretty painful.
TW: Yeah, it totally crushed any competence I may have had...like of becoming a triple threat.
BS: So what are you auditioning for these days? Anything on the horizon?
TW: I’ve got a recurring part on C-16 which is an FBI series on ABC on Saturday nights. I’m playing a jerk this time; a verbally abusive husband of a female FBI agent. She broke my knee last week.
BS: She’s tough!
TW: Yeah, she threw a video cassette at me then broke my knee. So I assume in the next script I’ll probably be on crutches. There’s not a lotta comedy going on.
BS: I was gonna say this sounds pretty heavy. Now what about any feature films?
TW: Not until the opening of "I Think I Do."
BS: Which will be? Here comes the plug...
TW: Which will be this spring, right?
BS: Yup. Spring of ’98. Coming to uh...
TW: A theater more or less near you.
BS: Exactly! (laughing) Coming to theaters more or less near you this spring. That’s good.